Self Regulation Through Laugh and Play
Laugh and Play can Help Children to develop more Self- Regulation and the Window of Tolerance
THIS WEEK’S CHALLENGE ON ASK MAGDI
Dear Magdi,
My 10- year-old grandson Michael has been on a large dose of psychotropic medication for the past five years to help him to control his angry outbursts.
His father and mother were both addicted to cocaine and he often experienced traumatic and shocking events at an early age.
I think these past experiences made him reactive. When he has these explosive episodes, he often refers to past events.
Can he get therapeutic treatment for his early traumas to help him become less angry and reactive?
I am very worried about the long term effect of the use of drugs on his young brain.
Marlene
Merritt
I think your grandson must have seen a lot of upheavals and angry fights between his addicted parents when he was young, especially when they were under the influence of drugs. At the same time perhaps he could have been somewhat neglected and suffered some mental abuse in those days. I feel like he had to have these tantrums during those times to get more attention, love and care in order to survive. I believe if his needs for love and understanding would be fulfilled, his hurts would be healed in time.
Paul
Merritt
Dear Marlene,
Thank you very much for sharing your challenge with me and our readers! This is a very difficult time for you. Unfortunately the experience and symptoms of early trauma can have a severe effect on the development of a child, and they can become reactive and angry.
It is important for you to know, that trauma does not have to be a life sentence and your grandson can get therapeutic treatment that can help him.
What is trauma?
According to research, trauma probably is the most denied, and untreated cause of human suffering. Unless our trauma is treated, we can become stuck in the highly aroused state of survival mode. As a clinical counselor, before I turn to the medical model of treatment, I prefer helping my clients through therapy and herbal dietary solutions.
My suggestions to you are the following three options, which will be helpful for your grandson in the development of his self –regulatory processes:
1.) Connect with a competent, professional therapist trained in the Somatic Experiencing method. This method of trauma treatment is very well researched, widely used and focuses on the client’s perceived body sensations. It does not depend on drugs or other outside agents and can help reduce your grandson’s unnecessary suffering from his trauma symptoms.
2.) Dietary changes can help. The biochemistry of our brain depends on obtaining specific nutrients from our diet. Certain amino acids are crucial building blocks for neurotransmitters in the brain. Gaba decreases tension and irritability and increases calmness. It can be found in Eggs, Peaches, Grape juice, Avocado, Sunflower seeds, Granola and Pees. Serotonin, which can improve sleep, calmness and mood, can be found in Turkey, Milk, Whole Wheat, Pumpkin seeds, Cottage cheese, Almonds, Soya beans.
3.) Recent neuroscience research explains that play therapy is a fundamental way for children to heal from painful traumatic experiences and be able to develop self-regulation. When trauma happens, the nervous system remains in a state of arousal and even after the threat is gone, the brain and body respond as if it still exists and continues to spew out fight or flight chemicals. When we ask a child to remember the scary, life threatening event with conscious attention, we often meet with rejection. He does not want to think back to the traumatic event and if he talks about it, it can have re-traumatizing effects. This way the traumatic memory stays implicitly in the right side of the brain and has a negative effect on the life of the child. In spontaneous play, the child does not need conscious attention to access his memory; he is able to connect with the right, emotional side of his brain. Play emerges implicitly and naturally in the playroom while the implicit memories becomes integrated. As implicit memory changes, so does the behavior of the child and another form of his story begins to reflect these changes. Through play, children can tell more of their autobiographical story, become ever more aware and understand who they really are in the world.
Trauma does not have to be a life sentence and we must recognize the health and vitality that can surface in the moments of playfulness, humor, resilience and buoyancy.
Marlene, I hope my suggestions will help to reduce Michael’s symptoms of trauma and eventually reduce his dose of medication.
Magdi
Dear Magdi,
We are very tired of fighting with my 7 year old son Daniel every evening, we have been trying to put him in his own bed as he wants to sleep between me and my husband in our bed. He has a very nice room and he likes to play there during the day, but as soon as the evening comes and I ask him to go to his own comfortable bed, he cries out and says “No!’ This is very hard on me and my husband and we are running out of ideas on what we can do to get him to sleep in his own room. We would like to ask you to give us some suggestions on what can we do?
Elene
Merritt
Thank you for reading our column. Please provide us new questions and YOUR TWO CENTS as well. This conversation and reflection will likely be helpful to many of our readers. Asking for help shows strength not weakness. I’d like to hear from you!
* All names have been changed to protect the privacy of our readers.
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